ABC is trying once again to form a weekly TV series based on the popular Jack Nicholson/Cher film “Eastwick”, about a trio of witches that are drawn together around a mysterious, dark figure of a man as their powers are unleashed.  The film premise was about the witches finally coming around to undo his evil, which lends itself to the series in a more protracted way.

The casting in this show is stupendous. The trio of witches are Rebecca Romijin, Lindsay Price and Jaime Ray Newman.  The three are perfectly cast- they fit well together as well as stand apart as memorable.

The powers they have just begun to unlock of unqiue to themselves- Rebecca’s Roxie (Roxanne) is a hippy-like, Earth loving free spirit that was peddling inferior new-age crafts at local markets before being swept into the mysterious Daryl’s (Paul Gross) irresistable force upon having her powers unlocked.  A self-proclaimed psychic, suddenly Roxie’s visions actually become a reality- she develops into a true psychic, able to see glimpses of the near future.

Lindsay’s Joanna is a struggling journalist who is in dire love with a photographer at the newspaper, seeking a promotion to write more meaningful articles with a sleazy boss who gives her no respect.  After Daryl’s arrival, Joanna suddenly has the power to charm men by staring into their eyes and speaking commands- even forcing a kiss out of her crush before she realizes that it’s the wrong thing to do.  However, flush on the realization of her new power, she has no qualms about “telling” her boss to give her the promotion, a raise and all the money in his wallet (a scene that hints at the humor that will be layered in the show.)

And my favorite, Kat- the adorable Jaime Ray Newman- is a mentally abused, hard working mother of five with a sleeze-ball lazy deadbeat of a husband who blames her for being a failure when she has the audacity to suggest he get a job.  Kat’s powers unlock as those of the greatest mother of all- Mother Nature- and she ends up thrusting a small earthquake upon her husband before later hitting him with a lightning bolt- all unaware of the dangerous powers she possesses.

The pilot establishes the characters quite well, leaves some great room for growth, and already points to the dark side of Daryl- he threatens to kill a young man who was trying to rape Roxie’s daughter, and Joanna’s friend provides her evidence that Daryl is supposed to be dead, per an autopsy report.  There is plenty of room for the show to grow and continue to expand while keeping a central theme going.

Layering the drama with light-hearted comedy should be a winning formula- the previews for next week show Roxie encountering a man who she had a vision of murdering her.  As the three witches look out Roxie’s store window, the attractive young man approches the store front, and Kat and Joanna begin waving at him, finding him cute.  Roxie’s retort? “Don’t wave at my murderer!”

I think that given a chance, Eastwick could be television magic.

Eastwick
ABC
Wednesdays at 10:00 p.m.

Dream Analysis: A remake of the old Jack Nicholson/Cher film (actually the second remake, if I recall) but with a killer cast.  The beautiful (and I do mean it) witches are Rebecca Romijn, Lindsay Price, and the delicious, adorable, beautiful, heart-thumping Jaime Ray Newman.
Dream Value: Eastwick presents the possibility of an “adult” version of Charmed-  plenty of possibility to mix drama, sex, magic and humor all into the cauldron and come out with plenty of quality entertainment.  This isn’t going to be on the quality level of Lost, going down in TV history, but it’s going to be a quality weekly watch for those of us seeking something other than yet another medical/lawyer/crime drama.  Minimum DVR taping, but most will be fans enough to watch it that night- live or within a few hours of airing.
Dream Length: The show just premiered, and hopefully will be given a fair shake to run for five seasons, at least.  You simply never know with the TV executives nowadays, who still seem to think shows can pull in 17 million viewers regularly.  Eastwick is an hour long show.
Nightmares: It’s too early to see if anything is really missing here, or if the plots become cliche, etc.  But the initial pilot was highly promising, establishing the Witches’ first powers and their exposure to each other, the dark force they become centered around, and the means by which they fall in together.  The only nightmare potential here is going to be plot-based- the cast is too good to have a failing on that end.

Welcome to Part II of this First We Dream “Dream 10″ Guide on how to elegantly fit what you’re trying to say into those scant few 140 characters in Twitter!  If you skipped Part I, it’s vital you start there, so you understand the first five tips before proceeding.

Otherwise, let’s move on to tip 6, next page!

If you’re a member of the A.D.D. generations- or a President of the “Death to the English Language” club, and are a regular on the best social media site out there- Twitter- you probably don’t care how unreadable your Tweet is when you jam your commentary into 140 characters.  You’re making up words, abbreviating everything into forms that word has never been abbreviated into in the history of mankind, replacing every you and two with “U and 2″ (it’s only cool when Prince does it!). You’re struggling to jam what you want to say into a limited space- and in the process you’re often losing your point while simultaenously confusing anyone reading your Tweets into a heaping pile of “what the hell did that mean?”

Fear not: I present the First We Dream “Dream 10″ Guide of ways to help you fit your Tweets into 140 characters, be able to speak in proper English (with some obviously necessary exceptions), and make sense at the same time (well, depending on content- that remains up to you.)

Important Note:

Keep in mind one important Tweet-size rule though:  You can jam a Tweet in at exactly 140 characters, but MOST Tweets (unless you only stick to your few followers) will need one to four hashtag (#) channel labels that count towards the 140 characters.  You have to learn to write clean, but short so you have room for those hashtags, and for other people to RT (re-Tweet) your witty statement with your Twittertag included in that 140 limit.

Tip one, next page!

Sometimes a movie comes along that defies explanation.  “9″ is one of those movies.  Part alternate reality, part Sci-Fi, part Terminator, part Adventure, part Social Commentary, part Fable, part War Flick, part … well, hell- it has a LOT of parts, shall we say?

Let’s keep in mind however that just because a movie might escape traditional explanations or labels doesn’t mean it’s a freaky conglomeration of bizarre nonsense.  No, in “9″’s case, the story is quite understandable and elegant in its telling.

Starting off, you are introduced to the “awakening” of 9- a tiny ragdoll puppet that has been lovingly, though hastily, constructed, as if a toy for a poor child.  A zipper splits his stomach, tiny cameras serve in place of eyes, and various wood and metal bits construct the rest of his otherwise human-like frame.

When 9 awakes (and we know his name, as it is clearly written on his back) he is obviously in a confused state-  a type of half-amnesia.  It is clear he understands the things he sees around him, he can read, he knows upon looking out the nearby window upon the utter devastation of the city that it is horrific, and when he stumbles clumsily to the edge of his table he recoils in horror at the dead man laying upon the floor of the room.

Upon venturing out, 9 quickly encounters another of his kind- 2.  This is the beginning of 9’s experience, as he encounters more of his kind and learns of the dangers of his “new” world- a world he knows at the same time he fails to understand what he is, or what his and his kind are intended to do in the ruins of the former human civilization.

The story is quite cleverly designed, and there is a specific relevance to the 9 that I really can’t reveal without spoiling the story.  In fact, much can not be discussed about this movie without giving away key aspects of the tale- because the tale is one of discovery, and you must take that journey with 9 to be able to appreciate the ending- a moral warning that while not anything new, is still a valid message for humans to continually hear.

“9″ isn’t really groundbreaking in any sense, but it is a quality film with a wonderful style and an excellent message to spread, even if aspects of that message are flawed.  Still, this is a quality film, and one that should be seen and appreciated so that perhaps one of these days humanity will let this movie’s moral message sink in once and for all.

9

Written and Directed by Shane Acker

Focus Features
09/09/09

Voice Talent: Elijah Wood, Christopher Plummer, Martin Landau, John C. Reilly, Crispin Glover, Jennifer Connelly

Dream Analysis: A unique in theme computer animated film that revolves around unweaving the meaning and purpose behind a peculiar set of nine handmade ragdoll puppets.  By the movie’s end, you will understand the purpose for their being and receive a moral message intended for humanity as a whole- and though the message within is partially flawed, the major portion of the message is quite valid and worthy of repetition in today’s world.  While you never get the specifics of how *exactly* the nine come to exist (in terms of a full explanation) you are given enough of a side-swipe explanation that requires a small leap of Sci-Fi faith.  However, the point of the movie is not about HOW the nine were made, but rather the reason and the meaning behind the end result.

Dream Value: 9 is worth the full ticket price in theaters, though it truly is up to your tastes.  This isn’t a “must see in the theater” because it has to be seen on a big screen- if you have an HDTV at home, or otherwise a large screen, you might feel inclined to wait for a rental.  However, I’d urge you to pay a good price towards this film- unique films with quality like this should always be rewarded.
Dream Length: Originally an award-winning short, this is now an expanded full-length film, but still only comes in at about an hour and a half.  This is not really something that one is going to kill to own, so you’re probably going to watch it the one time and perhaps a few years down the road in a cable rerun.  Still, it’s worth a view in the immediate future, to financially reward the effort.
Nightmares: None for adults, though I wouldn’t take younger children to see this- only because there are “mechanical beasts” that might frighten some children.  Also, there are some scenes of war/human death- again, in animation form, but if you don’t mind your child watching a ragdoll take a seat during guard duty on a severed human hand, you’re probably all good.  (Note that is not to say the movie is gory, or violent- there are just a few scenes that might bother the particularly young or easily squeamish.) Plotwise, there are elements that are skipped over where more detail could be provided, but in all honesty doing so would add unnecessary scenes and simply detract from the point of the tale being told.  There’s nothing to complain about at all with the animation style or great voice acting work, either.

BBC America has had a very strong tradition of quality Sci-Fi and Fantasy shows in recent memory, though they also have the unfortunate tradition of failing to support the shows after a season or three. (”Series” or three, for my British readers.)  In recent memory, they’ve had the outstanding Wiccan/supernatural show “Hex”, the fun dinosaurs through portals, “Primeval”…  sadly both shows, while high quality and better than the majority of television viewing, were unceremoniously killed at the end of their first and second seasons, leaving plot lines never answered and really creating  a bad taste in the mouths of viewers. (Nothing is worse than not letting a show do a proper wrap up.)  Recently they’ve added the new supernatural show “Being Human”, with the content dealing with vampires, werewolves and ghosts- but we’ll have to wait and see how they treat it, as its first season just wrapped.

Then there is Robin Hood.

When Robin Hood launched two seasons back, it was a great show- an excellent cast committing their capers against the evil sheriff and his dimwitted-yet-dangerous second in command.  In the end, each show was not too wildly different- it always seemed to end with the sheriff smacking his dumb guards around and screaming in frustration as Robin (Jonas Armstrong) and his gang laughed their way into Sherwood forest after pulling the wool over the sheriff’s eyes yet again.  The show never needed to use too much of its dramatic twists to be a fun watch- just reveling in the caper of the week was plenty enough to tune in each week.

The things that made the show so entertaining were the comradery of Robin’s gang, the outstanding villainy of the sheriff and Sir Guy both played to perfection by their respective actors, and the most important aspect of the show- his heartfelt, head-over-heels love for the love of his life, Marion. Marion was not just eye-candy, but a pivotal role within the show-  providing Robin his spirit and moral compass, as well as being feistily played by the drop-dead stunning Lucy Griffiths.  Her Marion is no helpless damsel- in fact, while being forced to live in the sheriff’s castle and fend off Guy’s forceful romantic advances, she served as a masked “superhero” to the poor, delivering food and other necessities to the people in such desperate need under the tyrant’s grip of the sheriff.

Then, at the end of season two, they did the unthinkable.  They had Guy kill off Marion.  Now, I must confess- I have NO problems with major characters dying in shows- but only in the shows that it makes sense in which to occur, and to serve a quality plot.  So I expect cast in 24 and Lost to go poof at any moment, and love it when it happens- even when I love the actor or character, the action gets me more excited about the show, not less.

That’s the problem with the action of killing off Marion in Robin Hood.  Finally coming to terms with their love, they willfully disregard Sir Guy and run off to get married.  They are as thrilled as possible, and the viewer is as happy as they are they are together.  Suddenly, that happiness is ripped away from all involved with Guy’s blade through her stomach, which sets up the feeling and story for season three, which just premiered.

The new theme is dark and vengeful.  Gone is the light-hearted humor of the first two seasons-  Robin can never again be a happy man.  The viewer is no longer happy, as they feel Robin’s pain and are aware this is the last season of the show- and it is always difficult to support a show that is ending sooner than it should.  Most noticeable, however, is the lack of Marion’s presence: The show is overly masculine- especially since the lone female gang-member Djaq has left the group.  Soon another female is set to enter the show, but the feeling will still not live up to the original vibe the show held.

The sheriff and Guy’s relationship have changed for the worse, as well.  Instead of being the slapstick “oh-you-screwed-up-again” goofballs, now they are legitimately threatening to kill each other on a constant basis- one of the main plotlines this season is Guy’s potential to assassinate the sheriff on behalf of the evil Prince.

Gone is the whimsical fun of the show, and now we have a dark and angry Robin, a confused and scared gang following him, a lack of humor, and a black heart at the core of the show’s formerly light-hearted theme.  The problem is, even if they try to spin the series around and end on a positive/happy note (which is not how I understand the show plans to end) it still will be dark, sad and bleak as Robin can never achieve his goal of being with Marion.

Unfortunately, this is just another example of one of BBC America’s great shows that they’ve mishandled.  For once, it’d be interesting to see them stick by one of these wonderful shows to create a legendary television experience, instead of rushing to push the next project out and abandon the shows they just put out the door.

Robin Hood
BBC America
Saturdays at 9:00 p.m.

Dream Analysis: The fun, quirky show of the first two seasons is gone, and a dark revenge plot is now in place.  This season is going to be about wrapping up loose ends- and while the show will get a “proper” send off, it’s not going to be possible (without some severe cheap stunts) to provide a reasonable ending that would have compared to a happy Robin and Marion standing victorious, together, after the fall of the evil sheriff.
Dream Value: While the show has lost it’s fun, it’s still better than the rest of the cop, lawyer and CSI shows on the air, so despite the flaws of the storyline, and the new dark tone, it is still worth a weekly view on your DVR.
Dream Length: This is the third season of hour-long shows. There should be twelve to thirteen in the season, and this is the final season- definitely ended far too early.
Nightmares: Compared to the fun and adventurous first two seasons, this third season is maligned with darkness and vengeance, and the great humor in the first two seasons is now mostly missing- any attempts are overshadowed by the tragedies of the show’s second season finale.  The lack of Lucy Griffiths’ Marion is truly overwhelming to the show.

Everyone has their own favorite entertainment products, and there are countless top five or top ten lists to find everywhere online. Sounds like a great idea- but I’m not satisfied with silly lists that leave any room open for debate. No, I want something monumental- something that chisels the point in concrete, and records it for all time as a fact of existence!

Therefore I present to you… First We Dream’s Ultimate Entertainment List!

Let’s start next page!

It’s time for another “Dream 5″- spotlighting five examples of excellence in their respective element of creativity and imagination.

This week, we’re examining five new offerings on your television that are likely to be great shows.  Keep in mind, though, that in today’s horrifically managed television industry, that does not mean these shows will succeed or have large audience (a few are locks for both, though.)

In the end, great TV is great TV regardless of how they perform on air.  Case in point? Firefly.  Point won.

Let’s start with the first one, next page!

The only choice in town for professional football gaming, Madden ‘10, hit shelves recently.  I spent three seasons in franchise mode in order to get a feel for the changes (for better or worse) of this year’s iteration.  What’s the verdict? Is Madden still stuck in it’s recent malaise of same-old each year?

I’m happy to say EA Sports has scored a 1st down with this effort.  It’s no touchdown, for sure, just as NCAA ‘10 isn’t in the end.  Both games are the best football around, but they share common design flaws that hold them back from greatness.  But I’ve already addressed NCAA ‘10- what’s the scoop on Madden ‘10 this year?

Pass Protection

It’s amazing, but EA finally managed to provide a real pass pocket.  First, no longer is the player required to perform the QB dropback, which often resulted in bad plays becaue the player would do a seventeen-step dropback on what should have been a one step quick-route.  Now, when you snap the ball, the QB will drop back to the correct position before you begin controlling him- and this works beautifully.

The second aspect of the new pocket is the fact that you will no longer have unoccupied O-linemen stand there staring into the distance while you’re sacked from the side.  They will actively pick up pass rushes and side blitzes, based on their stats, of course.  A rumble feature is also built into the controller, so that hypothetically, if the controller rumbles, you can look down and use the right analog stick to perform a QB dodge- the problem is this feature doesn’t work because the rumble comes far, far too late for you to lock your eyes on the QB area and determine where the rush is coming from.  Unless you spend your time staring at nothing but the QB, you’re going to not take advantage of this feature very often without simply making a wild guess.  Still, at least EA tried to add it in.

Rushing

Rushing is still, sadly, broken.  The default slider settings result in you running all over the defense for the most part, while you will hold every team to negative rushing yards- barring a handful of teams that have the best backs in football- who are treated like Batman in their ability to dodge every single player on the field while rushing their way to 300 yard games against you.  Tinkering with the sliders is futile, because you still end up with either too many rushing yards, or too few.  EA needs to work on balancing the rushing game somehow- a running back should average around 100 yards a game, but not every game.  As they say, 6 backs per year break 1,000 yards rushing-  figure out a way to achieve this balance. The end goal is statistical accuracy as close to the real NFL as possible.

Polish

The game makes great strides this year in the details- and details are what make or break a great game.  This year’s version adds all sorts of little touches that help make you feel like you’re really watching/participating in an “on-TV” football broadcast.  The new “Pro-Tak” technology allows for 9-man gang tackles- which is not only a graphical boon, but a gameplay feature- running backs can power their way through a few tacklers if strong enough for extra yards, or even to break a 70-yard-rush, so it’s important to keep piling on with the rest of the gang to bring the carrier down and stop extra yardage.  This is an excellent and very realistic addition to the series.

Unfortunately, many areas requiring polish are still dusty.  The AI still calls time outs at exactly 1:00 (or 1:01), breaking all semblance of realism, and when a game is all wrapped up and the game clock is winding down to end the game, you are still required to line up while the commentators ramble on about how important it is the defense stops you.  EA needs to change this to players wandering around the field shaking hands, while the commentary reflects the game-over-even-though-the-clock-isn’t spirit.

Speaking of commentary- major fumble here.  Chris Collinsworth and Tom Hammond take over the duties, and Chris is as snarky and unlistenable as ever.  Still, his arrogant preaching is a welcome relief from Mr. Hammond- who does his best to try to put you to sleep.  Even on exciting plays, he hardly has the “oomph” to whisper “touchdown!”  It’s not so much phoned in, as just completely out of the spirit of what’s going on on the field.  I can’t tell you how much I miss Madden’s fun and goofy “pow’s” and “bangs”, combined with an Al Michaels play-by-play.  EA strongly needs to re-evaluate their broadcast team and find a way to inject life into it.

Overall, while some of the yearly design flaws and bugs persist, this year is a major step forward, and removes the franchise from its long standing 3rd-and-long malaise to make a first down.  There’s a ways to go before EA scores a touchdown and removes any discussion of “NFL 2K5″ as the “best ever”- but this is an encouraging gain of yardage.  EA needs to not punt next year- fix the remaining flaws, and tackle the area that needs the most work next:  The scouting and draft- which could be vastly improved and made far more informative and fun than they currently stand.

In the meantime, you’ll definitely stick with this year’s version and play through many seasons in franchise mode (offline or even in the new online franchise mode)- and get a lot more value than you have in recent years.

Dream Analysis: The best version of the yearly monopoly to date, due to a greatly increased production quality, fully functioning pass pocket (no more 6 interceptions per game- are you paying attention, NCAA ‘11?) and greatly improved player statistical categories.
Dream Value: Worth full retail cost.  People have complained Madden has been stagnant- reward them for making progress by purchasing at full price.
Dream Length: You’ll play this until you trade it in for Madden ‘11- roughly one year, but with the new “burn time” feature that runs time off the play clock if you choose a play quickly, you will actually make it through ten or fifteen seasons instead of two or three in previous years (Franchise mode.)
Nightmares: EA still hasn’t dealt with the plethora of yearly quirks and bugs.  Rushing is still a mess- you’ll run all over the computer’s AI until you balance the sliders at which point you will be unable to run at all, and the AI will either run for -2 yards per game or if you tweak sliders, 250 per game.   Other quirks, such as the AI calling time out with exactly 1:00 (or 1:01) or the fact that the announcers are cheering on first downs when you’re kneeling the ball for the win (let alone having to run a last play when the game is wrapped up.)  Nothing new- but none of it fixed after so many years.  These all detract from the game.  These issues remain problems with BOTH Madden and NCAA football, and it’s long past due to spend some polish time fixing these game detractors.  Also, much work remains to be done with making the scouting and draft process better, and more FUN- make it feel like you’re in the draft war room, give better information about the players.  A new addition to “potential” is confusing-  is a high potential player expected to go in the 7th round better than a low potential player in the 1st round? No idea- it’s not clear.  Also, as always, some player ratings are laughable.  Drew Stanton an overall 47, when he should be no less than a 70? It makes you wonder at the formula they use for some players other than a random dice roll.

Batman is, hands down, the most popular superhero ever created.

Certainly there are rabid Superman fans, Wolverine supporters, and so on… But when it comes to the sheer kick-ass vision of the ideal hero, Batman is the foremost in the majority of people’s minds.

Why is this? Because Batman is not so far-fetched from being a reality.  He has no super powers, he’s not invincible… He’s nothing more than a normal man trained and educated to fight against enemies that often are more powerful than Batman- yet you always know that in the end, Batman is going to come out on top. Not simply because he’s the hero, but because he’s always able to out-think any situation and overcome any foe he faces.  This is why he beat Superman (in their famous comics duel, using Kryptonite-laced gloves) because Batman is a thinking-man’s (or woman’s) hero that we can all directly relate to, unlike an invincible alien in Superman or modified mutant like Wolverine.

So if Batman is capable of coming out on top over overwhelming odds- can he overcome his greatest challenge ever?

His greatest challenge- Joker? No, no.  His greatest challenge would be to appear in a comic-book based game that isn’t horrible.  To date, the only comic hero game that has been a great success, high quality, and very fun to play was the recent “Wolverine: X-Men Origins” game, which truly did Wolverine justice and provided a definite “keeper” game.  Surely Batman provides easier source material to outshine Wolverine?

The answer is a most definitive “yes”.

Rocksteady Studios has finally done Batman proud by providing him a game that is worthy of the Batman brand. There are countless reasons why this game works on so many levels.

Combat

Let’s start with the brightest light that shines through in this game: The combat.  After all, games of this nature are going to come down to how fun the combat is- does it become repetitive? Do you groan when another 10 generic goons come around the corner? Are you just hoping that you’re at the next boss fight, already?  Never once, in this game, do you wince when it comes time to fight.  On the contrary- you will absolutely drool over how much fun you’re having.  This is one of the sleekest, smoothest, best controlled fighting systems ever made for a game of this type.

There are no awkward targeting quirks.  No health bars (for enemies), no overly-complex button controls.  No, the majority of the fighting comes down to using the “X” button for your attacks and the “Y” button to counter attacks.  Sounds too simple? Wait until you experience the feeling when you have swooped down from a ceiling hiding spot, landing a gliding kick against one of the foes, then seamlessly begin a stream of kicks, punches, blocks, throws and flips- without ever fumbling over the controls for the right button.  By keeping things easy to manage, Rocksteady made the combat so very fun- because a novice can manage to fight and feel like Batman… but a hardcore gamer can truly become as imposing a martial arts expert as Batman is- taking down dozens of goons without a blow landing upon him.

And that just discusses the actual free-for-all fighting.  What shines even more is when you go into “predator mode” (not an actual gameplay change, just a concept) where you hide in various places within a room that has five or so guards- and proceed to pick them off one by one using stealth attacks and Batman’s typical bag of gadgets.  Pick off the first goon? The others will rush to his fallen (unconcious) body and begin to panic.  Using your “detective” vision mode, you can not only see skeleton-outlines of where all the goons are in a room, but what weapons they are carrying, and their heart-rate.  Bring enough fear to the goons as you stealthily take out their companions (with Joker humorously taunting his own men over the Asylum’s P.A. system)- and they’ll begin to freak out, firing randomly into corners and generally soiling their pants.

The game simply shines during these moments- you can’t get enough of preying on these helpless goons.  But make no mistake- they are not morons, and unlike other generic bad guys in hero games, if you screw up and they get their sights on you, you will pay the price with a side full of bullets.  This is what the appeal of Batman is: You can’t just walk up to three armed goons and “win”- guns WILL take you down.  Therefore you have to figure out the best way to outsmart them.  Perhaps it’s using your tools to whip up to a point behind them, and drop down for silent takedowns, or perhaps you set a trap in front of them with explosive gel, and let them catch a glimpse of you- to come charging into the spot you wish them to be with your finger on the detonator.

Make no mistakes- out of all the combat games out there- Batman has one of the best combat systems ever built to this point.  It creates a level of replayability that might not otherwise exist.

Comedy is hard.

Everyone knows that humor is so difficult to nail, so many kudos are deserved when a writer truly nails it.  Well, many kudos to Jim C. Hines and his “Goblin Quest” series.

The premise is simple, but not at all routine or traditional:  A group of heroes goes wandering through a maze-like series of never-ending trails underneath a mountain in order to valiantly fight their way through the hurdles they face (evil Necromancer, Dragon) in order to retrieve a powerful artifact (The “Rod of Creation”).  Oh, I apologize, I forgot the important part.  That would be the part where Jig the Goblin (cowardly, “I’m-not-going-to-do-anything-that-would-put-me-in-danger-so-I’ll-stand-over-here-in-this-safe-corner-and-not-bother-anyone” Jig the Goblin) is thrust into a situation that results in him ending up a hostage of the pack of dungeon conquerors, only being kept alive (with his trusty Fire-Spider pet, Smudge) to serve as their guide through the corridors of his home. What they fail to realize is that Jig has never really been outside of goblin territory, and is a terrible choice as a guide.

Of course, in Jig’s world, nothing ever goes quite the way things should go, and it’s best put to say “hi-jinks and hilarity” ensue.  Each step of the quest is a comic goldmine, with many laugh-out-loud moments, though don’t be mistaken, this is not just light comedy.  There are excellent action scenes, dramatic moments, and a few serious bits to contemplate.  In the end though, you’ll sweep up Jig’s journey as he is forced into his worst nightmare(s) time and time again, all while trying to achieve one simple goal:  Stay alive. And trust me, in Jig’s world- that is a monumentally tall order.

The outstanding thing here is that the first book does a wonderful job establishing Jig’s character and goblin “family”/potential sources of death (they ARE goblins, remember), and really gives you a highly unique take on the traditional dungeon-quest hero tale.  The change to the eyes of the “bad guys” (though after reading this series it’ll be hard to consider goblins as so bad- more misunderstood, really) and making the story revolve around Jig as the reluctant (and stumbling, and bumbling, and lucky, and…) hero is a real refreshing change of pace and makes what otherwise would be quality but standard Fantasy fare exceptional reading material.

With such an outstanding initial effort, the second and third books are icing on the cake, expanding Jig’s role as hero and champion against ever-greater threats.  At points, you simply have to marvel at how the hopeless situations Jig finds himself in, and you’ll smile knowingly when he somehow manages to squirm his way out of each situation.  Before too long, you’ll be checking yourself as you realize for the first time you’re hoping that nasty Elf gets an arrow in his back, or the valiant warrior somehow has an axe spring up from the back of his head. The stories truly twist your preconceived notions around and get you rooting for the “bad” side.

Though in the end, you’ll realize that it’s not so bad being a goblin, after all…

…Except for that whole “watch-out-for-a-knife-in-the-back-at-any-moment-by-another-goblin” thing.

Goblin Quest
Goblin Hero
Goblin War

Dream Analysis: A refreshing twist on traditional Fantasy tales, presenting the hero’s story from the perspective of a goblin.  Comedy, action and entertaining characters leap from every page, and you will delight in the predicaments Jig finds himself in, as well as the often-humorous ways he gets out of them.  Simply put, a fun and refreshing Fantasy read.
Dream Value: You will read through the series pretty fast, but the content is outstanding and worth the full price of the series.  Buy them at retail- don’t go for used- quality should be rewarded.
Dream Length: You’ll totally keep this series- just like you kept “Ogre, Ogre”, right?  Worth re-reading, probably once the fine details fade a bit- every 3-5 years.
Nightmares: Nothing of concern here- the books aren’t scary (though some of the goblin’s faces might be, were you to see them up close).  There’s typical Fantasy violence, but even when more serious it is never troubling or takes itself as seriously as other epic Fantasies.  Though, if Jig had a say, he’d tell you the entire series was one long never-ending nightmare.  Typical goblin!