The Race Against Time

While I watch potential wives slip through the cracks of my life, I constantly feel the pressure of my life’s hourglass pouring the last grains of sand through the hole… it’s all I can do not to sink into the pile at the bottom and just give up hope.

Can I really pass 40 in a few years and spend the rest of my life alone while watching everyone around me in society have a blissful life with families?  I don’t see how I can tolerate that without drawing away from society entirely.  Especially when I see some of the people who are together and have children who should never have been allowed to have children in a million years.  Parents teaching their young children to be outright racists, greedy capitalists who value money over human life, brainwashed right-wing religious bible-thumping zealots who wish to force their religion upon everyone- it angers me to know I won’t have children to raise that have the intellect and wisdom to counter these other children that will cause so much harm and damage in the future.  I examine my superior intellect, wisdom and personality compared to the people who are wrecks of humanity, then consider my situation. I become enraged at the people who took so much away from me and put me in this situation that I can not get out of because yet more people stand in my way blocking me.

I used to believe there’s always hope, but as the days fly past, I am coming to understand that unlike the movies, many of us on this planet do not get a happy ending.  Instead, we suffer a lonley life as long as we can stand it before fading away into history, where no one recalls we existed.

And frankly, if we make no impact upon the world- if we don’t pass on our DNA… there’s an argument to be made we never existed in the first place.

Now, all I can do is race time- and try to beat it to the finish line a couple of years down the road.  Losing that race means one of two things: My life is over and I must stall the rest of my days away prior to being forgotten, or a miracle must occur that breaks all of the notions of common sense- someone fifteen years younger than me willing to ignore all the problems that have been placed upon me, and willing to see past them.

In other words, I need a Hollywood-miracle happy ending or my life has been for naught, and all I ever achieved was to get in the way of those who got to live their lives fully.